BREAKING | Less than one month until Holmer hits Farming Simulator 15

Hold on to your wellies, folks – Farming’s about to get REAL. Real serious about Holmer, that is! The iconic agricultural brand hits Farming Simulator 15 on 10 March. Holmer is truly the Lamborghini of farming, except of course Lamborghini is the real Lamborghini of farming. But, you know, Holmer’s good too.

On 10 March you’ll finally have the chance to sit astride the majestic Terra Dos T4-40, its throbbing power beneath you as you harvest more widely than ever before! Except, of course, you won’t so much be astride it as ensconced safely in its spacious cabin, thanks to pesky Health and Safety regulations.

If the T4-40 harvester wasn’t enough to tempt you back into your chemically-treated fields, how about hopping on board the Terra Variant 600 – a true Valkyrie of the agricultural world! The Variant 600 truly is a traction engine to behold; coloured in blazing red it’s capable of pulling very heavy things! Like, I don’t know, big cows? Maybe other, smaller tractors? Big stuff anyway. It could certainly pull the skin off a rice pudding. I’m guessing here. I don’t
actually have one. Or any rice pudding for that matter.

Finally, and as if that wasn’t enough to get your EU-subsidy-clogged neurons firing in farming delight, there is also new equipment from Zunhammer and Bergmann. I’m assuming they’re manufacturers of farming equipment, and not a team of celebrity lawyers? I could be wrong, though. Maybe those are the guys from that Making a Murderer documentary? Could be. I heard they got real famous; maybe they are endorsing stuff now? I mean, that
programme was set in Wisconsin, and they have farms there, so… it’s plausible, I guess?

The Holmer DLC package lands on the Xbox One store on 10 March, priced at € 9,99. Yes, I know that price is in Euros. I’m sort of emphasising the EU subsidy gag from earlier. Look, it’s a slow news day, okay? And Farming Simulator is sort of fun, too. Check out the website.